Exploring

Well a year ago i would have never thought i would be here nearly everyday reading, learning, exploring on a swingers site.

I have always been open minded, i just never thought it would even be a possibility in my relationship with my lady. I guess after 15 years of being together, things shift.

We had a baby last year and talk about stress....When we finally had a blow out earlier this year about lack of communication, intimacy etc i was at my wits end. But things have shifted so dramatically over the last few months, i would have never imagined the turns and love i would feel today for my lady.

My journey, our journey of exploration started after our big fight back in July or August, something like that.

Hmmm...i want to share so much, but dont want to bore and so many details.....

I guess an interesting tidbit is the other night we watched our first porno together and had rip roaring love making for a couple hours and again the next morning! Talk about my dreams comes true, not the porno of course, but my lady being so into the sex!

I must admit i am a bit afraid as i think i may have unleashed a sex kitten on the world....What a beautiful kitten to be unleashed too! God i love my lady!

In any case, for several months i had been asking her during lovemaking if she had any fantasies, that i wouldnt judge her or freak out. She finally opened up the other night during the porno. She said she wanted a huge cock, maybe one that would hurt just a bit getting in. I asked if she wanted a dildo or another dude's cock. She said another dudes. So i asked both of us at the same time, and she was like yeah as i thrust into her and she moaned.

I am sure it was a huge relief for her to be that open with me and see me not freak out. I cant say whether im down with the idea of a MFM with my lady, i guess i had just never really thought about that persay....but i want her to experience all the pleasure she can in this life.

I am a tantric yogi, (yes i know the word tantric is loaded with all sorts of bizarre associations in this culture) and i feel if we only have one life at a time, at least that we remember normally, we may as well live it up and experience all the joy, pleasure and pain this life has to offer....So on one hand, im like fuck it who cares, if she wants another dude, lets get it for her....then my jealousy begins...

So i guess the next step in my own journey is exploring these emotions and sensations that thinking about the woman of my dreams with another man brings up. It is my duty to acknowledge and explore these sensations, it is a huge part of what my life is about.....

more later i guess, im rambling.

Dienekes